In October 2024, my bookstore was completely empty, and I felt deep relief. There was of course, sadness, but the elephant finally got off my chest. I could breathe.

I left 2317 Cherokee St, and headed over to the Public Storage where I housed my dreams, and looked at the sky. The Gateway Arch stood before me, and I thought to myself “Life goes on.”

Life did go on for me after operating a physical brick and mortar bookstore. Those first few months, I allowed myself to breathe and to stare into space to determine what direction I wanted NOIR to go in.

I am much more relaxed these days, and going with the flow.

I was physically and mentally exhausted from all the events, the retails days, the speaking, the vending. I was only one person and I took on so much in a short amount of time. I was having a ball, but also felt deeply stuck to the walls of the bookshop.

I delighted in my identity as “The Book Lady,” but I never set out to be a bookseller, or keep up with the world of retail.

For starters, I wanted to offer an experience rooted in ancestry, heritage and love of family. The bookshop functioned as a living and breathing piece of the community that was impactful for the 2.5 years it stood.

I am proud of that Ymani. I am proud of her tenaciousness, her ambition, and her discipline to see it through. But I also feel for her. She was burnt out, she felt vulnerable to new experiences in business and collaboration.

I wanted to sell education, literacy, and the idea that Black people could reach higher possibilities through words. I envisioned a hub where ideas came to life, and felt welcoming to all.

Timing is everything. I was 28 years old when I dreamt up The Noir Bookshop. As I write this, it feels like an old friend I am remembering. There were months of grief regarding my place in the community, and how people could still follow the message without a physical space.

I cannot describe the love I had for my bookstore, but also the ways in which lonely days tortured me. Retail is a funny business, and I had to learn not to take slow days personally. Bookstores can be slow, and my type of bookstore was a bit different.

I believe the timing was exactly right for me. Currently 32 years old, I can see the blindspots the bookstore owner me could not. I see and know what it takes to open a retail bookstore in the US.

Would I do it again? Hell yeah.

When I see and hear about the potential of new Black owned bookstores opening in my city, and feel excited about it. But, it also doesn’t take anything away from what NOIR is doing and continues to do.

My journey has been about seeing the mission through, and taking notes about what happened. I was disappointed to close my store when I did, but I was happy to choose myself. I’ve decided to choose a lane that works for me and gives me the greatest chance to build NOIR into my grand vision.

I am choosing to operate differently, to be more thorough, mindful and attentive to new details. I am allowing others to take part in this mission, and that is the type of collaboration I was blind to several years ago.

Make a Zine, 5th Edition. I wrote the foreword!

Through my personal experience and getting a read on what the community actually needs, it became clear to me in 2025 that NOIR remains, and the ideas I had in my bedroom in 2021 were fit to be reworked. I realized the answer was in front of me all along:

NOIR= Nurturing Ourselves In Reading.

With that in mind, I returned to my passions, to my books, to my notes. I booked private research appointments at the local library, I learned to watercolor paint, make gelli prints with paint and other mixed media techniques. I remembered what made me happy as a child, and “fun stuff” that adds color to my world.

Through my hours of digging through archives online, talking with my grandparents and sifting through family photos, I developed an interest in the stories, landmarks, and histories of the Black people I was seeing.

I began to connect individuals to the context of the time, and connect what I was reading to what I discovered in my “creative play.”

For example, I watched the Netflix documentary about Quincy Jones, and was inspired by the genius of Jones throughout his life. His ability to create music across genres and instruments intrigued me. Quincy Jones playing the trumpet feels meditative, just like the jazz and classical pieces he performed and composed.

Meditative.

So when I picked up a copy of “Black Ivy,” and Jones was pictured as a young man, I wanted to make a collage that combined the knowledge I gained from the documentary and the aforementioned text to express the talent Quincy was born with and cultivated.

“Thank You, Quincy” was born.

I was blown away by how the collage turned out. I felt that Quincy had a “gift for stewing,” being in a deep meditative state to have created the music he did.

I decided to post the collage online to prove to myself that literacy and art can make something beautiful. The reading and researching informed my art.

And now I want to share that with my community.

Since closing the doors of The Noir Bookshop, I have turned my attention to what the community needs: information, access to literature and building personal libraries.

Through NOIR Print co, I am able to print physical zines and ephemera to advance the message of NOIR. I teach workshops in the form of zine workshops, collage workshops, and Black history lectures.

Through my work with NOIR and creating zines, I was honored to write the Foreword to “Make A Zine” by Joe Biel. I met Biel just days after closing the store at a bookselling convention in Milwaukee. We happened to chat after a panel I was on. It was such a special moment. Weeks later, I had an email from Biel asking if I would write the foreword for the new edition releasing summer 2025. Opportunities like that have kept me going in the right direction, and to move forward, even without my store to anchor me.

Today, NOIR is focused of fostering a community of people who enjoy reading, want to be a reader, and have an interest, love, and reverence for promoting Black and brown stories.

NOIR is for those interested in preserving culture, putting the community on record, self-improvement, and a commitment to making literacy accessible for all.

I am deeply thankful for everyone that has supported NOIR on its journey. It has lifted me when I was feeling “mighty low!” (iykyk).

As 2026 begins, I want to express the vision for NOIR.

Elevation of literacy
Self-Publishing as a platform
Commitment to Ancestry, Heritage, Storytelling
Integration between books and creativity
Personal library creation

It was never goodbye. It was never done. Ymani never moved on. NOIR has shifted and blossomed into a new state.

I hope you’ll join the mission.

Nurturing Ourselves In Reading: The new NOIR

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